Knock Knock – Remember Me?
Hi. It’s me – Hannah, the one trying to create Loveliness on Lydia. Remember?
I’ve been a little MIA the past few months. Since mid-August to be exact. This post outlines my perfectly acceptable excuse for being quiet, and hopefully gives you a little bit of inspiration to go after your dreams and not apologize for it. 😉 Here it goes:
My last post, 15 Lovely Back to School Ideas for the Best First Day, was written in the back-to-school frenzy. Turns out, it wasn’t just kiddos going back to school – I was, too!
Here’s the backstory: Mid-summer, I had a panic attack. A real – hyperventilating, sweating, crying – anxiety-induced panic attack. It was on a Sunday, and it was the absolute worst Sunday Scaries feeling that I’d ever encountered. Steven held me tight and played with my hair and told me it’d be alright – but deep down I knew it wouldn’t, not unless I made a change.
I absolutely love my job and my boss is such a dream – so what could I have possibly been so upset about? I’m going to be vulnerable for a second: I’m not very good at the part of my job that involves client service. It’s hard – really, really hard – and I get impatient and irritated easily. But the real reason for this freak-out moment is that I don’t feel fulfilled in my current capacity. I’m the type of person that needs to feel like I’m making a dent in this world. And in that moment of sheer honesty, I knew that I wasn’t inspiring anyone, especially not myself.
This panic caused me to reflect on the things that make me happy: writing, reading, learning, speaking, inspiring. After much reflection of my ever-present tendency to seek knowledge and contemplation on my personal worth to the world, It hit me. I came to the conclusion that I
wanted needed to become a teacher. A secondary business teacher, to be exact.
As a lifelong learner, curiosity pursuant and “what if?” wonderer, I unintentionally, and naturally albeit, seek education in everything that I do. Distant memories of my childhood learning experiences are some of my most constant and fond thoughts. The first real memory that I can recall is sitting on my blue-carpeted bedroom floor at three and a half reading Berenstain Bears books without a regard in the world for the dolls and toys strewn around me. As a child, I elected to complete pages upon pages of workbooks rather than watch television, or even go outside. During my elementary years, I wrote stories that all began with “It all happened one day…” because I coveted the act of transferring the thoughts from my imagination onto primary handwriting paper, many of which my mom kept. My inclination towards education is positive because it has been steady in my life since birth. I owe this rationale to my parents, Roger and Jennifer, who made it a point to introduce and encourage the magic and steadiness of educational enlightenment since the day that I was born. Of course, many of my high school teachers and college professors were also the epitome of inspiration in this decision.
I’m attending Avila University to obtain my Graduate Teaching Certification in Secondary Business Education. I cannot even begin to tell you how inspired that this semester has made me.
Ya’ll. I’m MADE to be a teacher.
I spend 95% of my time dreaming about my future classroom and students – I even spring straight out of bed from a deep sleep to write down valuable lesson ideas so I don’t forget them. That’s what I’ve been doing – going to four hour classes, two nights a week, writing papers until my fingers are sore, studying mindlessly for the Missouri Content Assessment, and observing the best business teachers in the Kansas City metro.
Because of school, something that I love so so so dearly, I’ve had to put some things on the back burner – Lovely on Lydia and sign making being two of them. I won’t apologize for that prioritization, because I’m really happy with that decision, but I will try harder to allot time for my commitments to blogging.
Classroom procedures are classroom management strategies to achieve goals in the classroom. One of my classroom culture goals is that everyone feels valued, smart and capable. To achieve that goal, I plan to start each class with my students repeating my classroom motto in unison: “Today, I will do my best to be my best. I will listen, I will work, I will respect the rights of others. I am in control of my future. I can learn and I will learn.” I encourage you, lovely, that if you’re feeling stuck in this season of your life, today is the day that you can do your best to be your best. It’s not easy – most days it’s downright hard – but you are in control of your future and I believe in you.
Signing off for now, pinky promise to be back soon.